DEAR ABBY: I’m married with two kids, 6 and 4. I like them and my spouse.
Once I met her, I knew she was somewhat messy. I’m neat, tidy and customarily organized.
Over time, her habits (particularly, cleanliness and tidiness) has grown worse. It’s reached the purpose the place she leaves her chewed-off fingernails the place our youngsters play barefoot. She refuses to assist with family chores or to be a useful a part of the family.
I don’t desire a divorce as a result of I do know it could wreck the kids’s lives. I’ve been holding out whereas politely begging for a few of the cleanliness points to resolve, but it surely’s had zero affect.
I’m able to lose my thoughts, and my hair is visibly thinning from the stress. It’s like having a 3rd little one. What do I do?
— FRAZZLED IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRAZZLED: A spouse and mom whose habits and normal cleanliness have worsened to the purpose that she leaves her chewed-off fingernails on the ground the place her kids play could also be experiencing psychological issues.
Withdrawing as you may have described isn’t regular habits and might be a cry for assist.
Contact your medical insurance firm and your physician so your spouse will be evaluated bodily and neurologically. After that, you should have a greater concept of what to do. Whereas this might merely be the habits of a disorganized and harried housewife, I’m involved it might be extra.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a widow with two residing kids (one son died of COVID in 2021).
My daughter desires me to go on a cruise along with her subsequent 12 months. I don’t really feel comfy round crowds and unusual folks. This is because of shedding my son and the dearth of masking these days.
I informed my daughter no on the cruise. It harm her emotions, and now I’m the one feeling dangerous.
Ought to I really feel responsible as a result of I fear about my well being? I sustain with all my vaccinations, together with flu, and I’m wholesome, however I now not socialize as usually as I used to.
My physician has informed me that at my age it is very important at all times watch out. Your ideas?
— CAUTIOUS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CAUTIOUS: In mild of the details that you simply misplaced your son to COVID and that your physician has warned you to watch out, your warning is comprehensible.
I’m sorry you didn’t point out the dimensions of the ship on which your daughter is planning to trip, as a result of some ships are so massive that they may put you in shut contact with hundreds of different passengers.
Being updated in your vaccinations is smart, but it surely doesn’t assure that you simply won’t contract one other communicable illness.
Inform your daughter you’ll like to trip along with her beneath totally different circumstances, however your well being should come first, and don’t really feel responsible for doing so.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
