DEAR ABBY: I’ve been put in a troublesome place between my daughter and her husband.
My daughter, who has a genius IQ, double school majors, and so on., hasn’t labored in a 12 months and a half. Her husband of 4 years has tried to inform her it’s placing a pressure on him, not solely financially but in addition by way of well being.
When he went to the hospital, his blood stress was by the roof. He even had bloodshot eyes. He says he thinks she’s ready for him to die so she will be able to reside off his funding earnings.
My daughter may be very choosy, and no job appears to be adequate for her.
If I intrude, she’ll cease speaking to me, and he or she’ll know he has talked to me, which can harm their relationship as nicely.
What can I do? I would like her to be a productive particular person and never take all the pieces without any consideration.
— GRASPING AT STRAWS
DEAR GRASPING: The time has come so that you can step again. You’ll be able to’t management your grownup daughter.
Clearly, she and her husband don’t talk successfully. Due to the stress your son-in-law is underneath, his concern that she could also be attempting to stress him right into a coronary must be mentioned with a wedding and household therapist. He must be free to speak with anybody he needs, together with you, and presumably a lawyer, and in case your daughter (the genius) can’t settle for it, cease permitting her to make it your downside.
DEAR ABBY: I’m married to a person who’s incarcerated. As you possibly can think about, it’s been onerous on our household.
I’ve two children with him. I used to be pregnant with our youngest when he was arrested.
In response to his mom, since my husband went to jail, I can’t do something proper. She yells at me that she has it worse than I do concerning my husband. Her reasoning is that she’s his mom, and nothing can change that, whereas I can all the time “throw him away” as a husband.
She additionally resented it once I went to counseling as a result of she desires me to inform her my troubles. After I tried, she’d all the time flip it again to her issues.
She’s judgmental and imply. She calls it being “outspoken.”
Abby, am I improper for being upset? Do you assume she desires me to divorce her son or one thing? I believe it was impolite and silly of her to say that to me. I married her son and had kids with him.
I don’t perceive why she thinks we’re competing. If it’s a contest, we’re each dropping. We each have it dangerous. Simply because she’s having a tough time doesn’t make no matter I’m going by any much less dangerous, does it?
— CONVICT’S WIFE IN OHIO
DEAR WIFE: I think there may be nothing your mother-in-law would really like higher than so that you can divorce her son. Should you did, she would have him all to her overbearing self. She thinks you might be competing as a result of she is.
Keep out of her manner as a lot as potential till your husband’s launch. Do not speak in confidence to her. You’ve got sufficient to deal with with out her stirring the pot, and you’ll relaxation assured she is going to.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
