DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve had a recurring state of affairs occur for the previous 5 years — since I’ve been married.
My husband and I get pleasure from taking photographs of us collectively utilizing a timer on the digital camera. Now we have enjoyable with the random picture expressions and expertise pleasure this fashion. We arrange a digital camera or cellphone on a tripod, then depend down till it clicks.
Virtually each time we do that in public, a stranger will rapidly come up and ask in the event that they can assist us by taking the picture. I reply with, “No, thank you.”
I say it kindly, but it surely nonetheless causes an disagreeable feeling each time. It’s met with extreme shock, disbelief and infrequently facial disappointment on their half, and there may be typically a lingering damaging emotion hanging round.
I perceive they arrive from a spot of wanting to assist. However ought to I’ve to elucidate why we don’t want their help?
I’ve just lately tried saying, “No, thank you. This is fun for us, to do it this way.” However that doesn’t work, both.
GENTLE READER: Maybe a slight variation on that: “Thank you so much, but it’s just a thing we do,” accompanied by a self-deprecating chortle that claims, “Aren’t we silly? Wouldn’t you prefer not to get involved?”
Miss Manners feels fairly sure that should you execute that final half efficiently, most individuals will acquiesce.
If you wish to tailor it to totally different generations for max impact, you may change “thing” with “tradition” for the older set, and “trend” for the youthful. The previous should look puzzled, however the latter ought to perceive.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I must know if I’m justified in feeling miffed.
Let me set the scene: I used to be the second of three folks ready in line to pay for our purchases at a store in our small city. The proprietor was the cashier, identified to all of us.
First Particular person in Line was having a spirited dialog whereas her purchases had been wrapped and bagged. Third Particular person and I maintained our silence.
Nevertheless, after First Particular person stated her goodbyes, Third Particular person began proper in — loudly conversing with the proprietor about folks I knew nothing about and usurping my alternative to totally get pleasure from an essential a part of my native buying expertise. I may barely get in a “yes” when requested if I needed my presents wrapped.
Am I proper in feeling slighted?
GENTLE READER: Positive. You waited patiently to your flip and had been robbed of a superb gossip together with your native proprietor.
With a bit of luck, it was a singular offense. If it occurs once more, nevertheless, you might have Miss Manners’ consent to insert your self into the dialog: “Who are you talking about? Liza? I’m not sure I know her. I do know Lisa on Mulberry Street, and she’s a doll. Her cherry trees are in full bloom right now. Have you seen them? Oh, you definitely should …”
This could train Third Particular person to attend their conversational flip.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, [email protected]; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
