DEAR ABBY: For years, my husband and I’ve socialized with a small group of {couples}, now empty-nesters of their 50s and 60s.
We meet at our favourite neighborhood bars for glad hour, reside music, dancing and different metropolis occasions, and we’ve a good time.
Over the past yr, one couple has began inviting a number of of their 20-something kids and a grandbaby (sure, to the bars, at night time) to hang around with us. It turns into loud and messy the extra the “kids” drink. The conversations are totally different, and the newborn cries, and it has utterly modified the vibe of our get-togethers.
I like this couple however not notably their youngsters.
Is there a tactful technique to redirect our get-togethers again to only our mature group (fairly than “family time”) with out damaging friendships, or ought to we suck it up or bow out?
— UNPLEASANT TIME IN THE WEST
DEAR UNPLEASANT: Ballot the opposite members of your group about how they really feel concerning the youthful adults and the newborn being with you.
You could uncover you aren’t the one ones who aren’t snug with it. If that’s the case, then somebody goes to have to talk up and object. Nevertheless, in the event you and your husband are alone in feeling the best way you do, the 2 of it is best to bow out and socialize with different associates.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 29 and in a 10-year relationship with my boyfriend, “Justin.” Issues have been rocky since his enterprise went underneath final yr.
For months, I’ve been working 10 shifts per week at two jobs to cowl our payments, together with a mortgage. Barely seeing one another has put a pressure on our relationship.
I by no means meant to develop emotions for an additional man, however I’ve them, and they’re actual. “Brad” and I work collectively and discuss typically. He makes me really feel a approach I haven’t felt in years. There may be harmless flirting — nothing sexual or inappropriate. We don’t talk exterior of labor.
In my thoughts, we haven’t crossed any strains, besides that I’ve developed emotions for him. I consider he feels the identical about me, though neither of us has put it into phrases. Brad could be very shy and doesn’t discuss to most individuals. He works two jobs and goes to highschool.
I don’t need to go away Justin. I really like him, and we’re good collectively. However I can’t ignore what is going on inside me proper now. Assist, please!
— TORN IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TORN: Working two jobs is, to place it mildly, hectic. I can see why your relationship with Justin is strained. You’re exhausted!
I also can perceive why you may welcome the distraction of a flirtation with Brad. Nevertheless, until you might have left one thing out of your letter, Brad hasn’t requested you out even for a espresso, not to mention to depart Justin.
I’m not suggesting you ignore the sentiments you might have been growing for Brad, however I’m telling you to focus extra vitality on fixing what has gone unsuitable along with your relationship along with your boyfriend.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
