DEAR ABBY: I’m twice divorced and just lately celebrated my 61st birthday. I look fairly unbelievable, and I’m in nice well being.
My husbands have been actually nice guys, and I’ve maintained constructive relationships with each. My first marriage lasted 20 years; the second lasted 10. I’ve been flying solo for the final 5 years.
I like my life and life-style and don’t have any need to marry once more. I like having my very own house and the liberty to do as I please.
My dilemma is, whereas I’m open to relationship and having companionship, the lads I join with on-line all wish to be married! As quickly as I inform them I’m not on the lookout for marriage, they disappear.
Just lately, I used to be actually hung up on in mid-conversation due to my response to the wedding query.
How can I get to the “let’s meet in person” half if the primary or second cellphone dialog ends issues as a result of I’m being trustworthy? I don’t wish to lie.
It’s difficult attempting to elucidate that I now not imagine I have to be married so as to really feel fulfilled. I’ve household and fantastic buddies in my life, plus I’m very outgoing.
I admit that I do miss some facets of being in an unique relationship. It’s simply that I’m not attempting to be a Mrs. anymore. Third time’s the attraction … not! Please advise.
— STOPPING AT TWICE IN TEXAS
DEAR STOPPING: I hear from so many ladies who’ve the alternative drawback that you’re having. As quickly as they point out that they are serious about marriage, the lads head for the hills.
You both haven’t met the fitting males but, or you might be delivering your disinterest in marriage message too strongly. You may need higher luck in the event you specify what you do need — which seems to be companionship and a monogamous relationship.
DEAR ABBY: I would like recommendation about my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage.
Her 4 boys, aged 3 to 12, have been affected by what’s going on. They aren’t correctly disciplined and are being abused as properly.
Her husband is on medication and abuses my daughter mentally and bodily in entrance of the youngsters.
Ought to I preserve letting her take my grandsons again to a foul scenario, or ought to I name baby protecting providers?
That is tearing me up inside. We aren’t younger sufficient to deal with caring for the youngsters full time as a result of they’re so tousled. They’d find yourself in foster care.
What ought to I do? My daughter would most likely lose her thoughts if she misplaced them, however I can’t stand to see them undergo.
— ALARMED IN MISSOURI
DEAR ALARMED: There could also be a much less drastic resolution than calling baby protecting providers.
The following time the husband acts out, name the police. As soon as he’s out of the home, assist your daughter discover a battered ladies’s shelter that can settle for her and her youngsters till she will grow to be unbiased. The Nationwide Home Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; thehotline.org) could possibly enable you to find one.
This could be higher than turning your grandchildren over to strangers.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
