DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and his spouse have been visiting me for per week. Throughout that week, I used to be invited to a barbecue on the residence of some previous associates.
I defined that my brother and sister-in-law have been visiting and requested if it could be OK for them to attend. The hostess stated “of course.” I made further parts of meals and introduced them alongside.
Now, my partner has stated that it was impolite of me to just accept the invitation and that by asking whether or not my visiting brother might attend I used to be placing the hostess on the spot and that she couldn’t say no.
As these are previous associates, and I’ve met a lot of their households at different occasions (together with ones I’ve hosted), I didn’t suppose asking this query about my very own kinfolk was impolite. Was it?
GENTLE READER: Effectively, there’s a formulation that makes it simpler on the hostess. For those who say, “Oh, we’d love to, but my brother and sister-in-law are visiting then,” she will say both “Please bring them” or “I’d love to meet them another time.”
There are well mannered methods to say no. If not, we’d all be on the mercy of anybody suggesting something.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve abilities and pursuits which might be reasonably uncommon in trendy instances.
I take pleasure in these hobbies immensely, although I make some extent of not bringing them up with new acquaintances, since they don’t seem to be more likely to make a two-way dialog move.
After I meet a good friend of a good friend, nevertheless, my pursuits are invariably part of the introduction, often adopted by a remark like, “She’s so good at everything, it makes me sick!”
I’m definitely not good at every thing. There are many issues I’m simply horrible at!
Maybe there may be expertise in what I do properly, past the training of a talent, however I’ve labored exhausting to develop that expertise — to not exhibit, however simply because it fascinates me.
I might be completely thrilled to show anybody who wished to be taught, since I hate to think about these abilities turning into extinct. Actually, anyone who wished to be taught might.
I understand that my associates imply to specific admiration for abilities they don’t possess and don’t care to achieve, however being advised I “make them sick” could be very off-putting to me, and I do not know how I’m supposed to reply.
GENTLE READER: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I never dreamed my little interests would upset you. Are you going to be all right?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My hair is so skinny on high you possibly can see my scalp. I’m going to an upscale night marriage ceremony. Would it not be a social error to put on a hat?
GENTLE READER: Aren’t weddings what hats are for? Effectively, enhancing heads, too.
Maybe you’re involved as a result of it’s a night marriage ceremony. However in that case, you put on what’s aptly known as a fascinator — one thing whimsical however and not using a brim, strategically positioned.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
