DEAR ABBY: I discovered that, behind my again, my greatest pal has been (secretly) rising hair for the previous 12 months.
He is aware of I’ve been balding for a few years. Though I’ve accepted my follicular destiny, he is aware of I consistently seek for self-improvement in my life.
What bothers me is that he didn’t share the knowledge till I discussed I used to be fascinated about making an attempt Rogaine. That is when he informed me he has been utilizing the same product for the previous 12 months and it appears to be working. He even took off his baseball cap (which he has been curiously carrying for a 12 months), to point out me the modest outcomes. I doubt he would have shared this if I hadn’t raised the topic.
I really feel deeply shafted by his secrecy, and I don’t see it as such a personal matter that it needed to be hid. I do perceive that he could have felt embarrassed to confess it bothered him and that he was taking steps to handle the difficulty.
What’s the rule of etiquette beneath the circumstances? Ought to an individual share self-improvement strategies which are modestly profitable with a detailed pal who would clearly profit from the knowledge (assuming it isn’t so private or personal that it can’t be shared)?
— SHAFTED IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR SHAFTED: There is no such thing as a rule of etiquette that dictates anybody should share this sort of info.
As shut as it’s possible you’ll suppose you might be to this pal, attempt to do not forget that not everyone seems to be comfy speaking about medical interventions they’re utilizing for self-improvement. This consists of cosmetic surgery, weight-loss medicine and cures for baldness (a situation suffered by members of each sexes).
Your pal was good to say that he has been utilizing a product much like the one you might be considering, however he was beneath no requirement to take action.
DEAR ABBY: I not too long ago separated from my spouse and have developed emotions for somebody new, “Maria.”
Maria has talked about that she’s at present relationship somebody. Regardless of this, we discuss all through the day and have hung out collectively, and she or he at all times appears to get pleasure from our conversations and outings.
I’ve expressed my emotions, however moderately than say I’m within the “friend zone,” she merely reiterates that she’s seeing somebody.
I’m confused and uncertain of what to do. I’ve tried distancing myself, however she continues to achieve out, and our conversations choose up once more.
Ought to I step again and transfer on, or proceed to interact along with her whereas remaining respectful?
— BAFFLED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAFFLED: Inform Maria you want her very a lot however are searching for somebody to have a romantic relationship with, which is why you can be stepping again for some time. Recommend that if her relationship doesn’t work out, she ought to offer you a name, and perhaps you possibly can work one thing out if you happen to’re not seeing anybody. Then transfer on.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
