DEAR HARRIETTE: Over Memorial Day weekend, I hosted a small get-together at my dwelling with my prolonged household.
My cousin introduced her 1-year-old son, who’s simply beginning to stroll and discover the world round him. He’s a candy little boy and was particularly fascinated by my canine.
The issue is that my canine has by no means been nice round young children. He’s anxious by nature and tends to get overstimulated simply. I normally hold him away from youngsters for that purpose, however within the chaos of the day, I let my guard down.
At one level, earlier than anybody may intervene, the newborn startled my canine, and my canine reacted by biting him. It wasn’t only a nip, both. It was a tough chew, and it left a mark.
Fortunately, the harm wasn’t extreme, however it was sufficient to trigger numerous misery, particularly for my cousin and her husband. My cousin was understandably upset, and whereas she tried to be civil about it, I may inform she was offended and damage.
I really feel a lot guilt in regards to the chew, however I’m additionally fearful about what this implies for our relationship shifting ahead and for my canine. I don’t know methods to make issues proper.
Ought to I’ve performed extra to forestall the scenario? How do I strategy my cousin now and specific how sorry I’m with out making issues worse?
— Canine Chew
DEAR DOG BITE: Observe up along with your cousin to ensure her son is OK. Apologize once more for what occurred. Guarantee her that sooner or later, you’ll put your canine on a leash or in any other case be certain that your canine is nowhere close to the kid once they go to.
Likelihood is, they gained’t be visiting anytime quickly. In time, they may when you can assure that their baby might be out of hurt’s method. Some folks cage their canine or shut them in one other room once they have guests.
DEAR HARRIETTE: A buddy retains self-sabotaging her future, however I can’t fairly determine why or methods to assist.
At one level, she was doing very well in class. She was a stellar scholar and had a pointy thoughts. We have been each speculated to graduate two years in the past, however midway by our senior yr, she determined to change her main fully, which set her again about three years. Since then, she modified her main as soon as extra after which determined faculty simply wasn’t for her.
Since leaving faculty, my buddy has had lengthy intervals of unemployment or brief intervals working right here, there and in all places.
That is somebody who used to have her complete life deliberate out. Do you assume it’s strain that brought about her to alter so drastically? Did I miss one thing main that occurred to her?
— Full 180
DEAR COMPLETE 180: Your buddy could be affected by despair or one other psychological sickness that has derailed her. Maybe a traumatic expertise occurred that she isn’t coping with straight.
In case you assume she’s going to speak to you, ask her what’s happening. Gently attempt to get her to speak to you about her decisions and her wishes for the long run.
Do your greatest to be there for her with out judgment as she weathers this era of uncertainty, however don’t beat your self up. Your buddy resides her life. You need to reside yours.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
